Sunday, July 27, 2008

My Testimony






I Have Found My Purpose, Have you?



I would like to share about my life and burden with you because I am led by God to write this to you. My father is a pastor and I have grown up from my childhood as a Christian and have been taught about the Lord from my early age in Sunday school and in the Church. Even when I was a child I had a great desire to please the Lord, and live for Him. But as I grew up I thought about living a good life and to help the church monetarily because it taught me all the good things in my life. As I grew older to be a young teen age boy, the worldly desires and passions began to increase in me and I became bounded to various lustful habits. After I finished my schooling, I joined a polytechnic and finished my diploma and started studying Electrical Engineering degree. By the time I finished it, I wanted to pursue my career in software because of its boom in South India during the years 1998-2001.As I was about to finish my Engineering, my body began to tremble and I got very weak and feeble. I got so weak that I was not even able to hold a tumbler in my hand with out tremor. As I was a fitness freak during my college days and represented my college for body building competition, I thought all these will go away. Things grew worse that I was hardly able to write my final semester exams without shivering, that the teacher who supervised the exam asked me about it. Any way I always managed through it because I was always self-confident during those days. But I got failed in one paper of my final exams due to which I missed to finish my degree in the stipulated time and I got second class. This was a great blow to me who planned for a successful career and gaining material wealth. Then the very next semester I studied and passed that paper and went on to join a software training institute to pursue my career and to travel abroad. But while I was studying and working in that place, my health got worse to the point ‘I told the company manager that I could no longer continue with my studies and work in the future’.

I returned back home in Erode which is a town that is 400 kilometers away from Chennai the capital of the state of Tamil Nadu in south India. This was during the year 2001 end. When I came back home, I felt as though I had no future for me. As I was brought up in an evangelical church, so we had special revival meetings at that time of the year. So in my weakness I worked for the meeting and at the end of it, as a pastor’s son I had the privilege of meeting the man of God to pray for me. I told him that I felt that I have already wasted twenty years of my life in vain and he prayed for me.

The next day while I got up from my sleep in the morning all my muscles in my body got stiffened and I limped my way to even do my daily chores. Suddenly in that early morning, the first time in my life I felt that I was not in control of my life and I need to depend on others for my survival. While I was lying hopelessly in my bed, God quickened a word in my heart while I saw a calendar in the wall in which it was written, “Trust in the Lord at all times." (Psalm 62:8). This was the first time I felt God speak in my spirit so clearly. Then I received the strength to go through the affliction from God (Psalm 119:67, 71, 75). All the people who thought that I would be earning a lot of money began to look mockingly at me. Then the doctors diagnosed that I had hyper thyroid three times more than the normal level and as a result potassium deficiency has occurred in my body. So I became bed ridden after visiting the hospitals for treatment. During that period of time I still wanted to pursue higher studies in my engineering and wanted to prepare for entrance exam. As usual I would take the Bible in the morning to read the smallest Psalm as a routine before starting to study for the entrance test, but I was not able to keep down the Bible. During that time I began to understand the scriptures clearly. And I started reading and reading the whole Bible, it became like a honey in the midst of all my afflictions. It gave me comfort. It was a tough time for me and my family. My family members were not able to understand why I was reading the Bible all the time. I read the whole Bible in a matter of months and the desire to read and know it fully increased. Even I also was not able to fully understand what was happening in my life. 


Then one day while I was sleeping in the afternoon, as I was slowly recovering from my weakness and was taking medicines, my mother and dad were praying in the next room as they usually do every Wednesday afternoon,
I heard a voice behind me like the voice of the many waters as described in the Bible saying, “Do my work and I will bless you, your family, your relatives and all those who come in to contact with you.” Suddenly I woke up and I was afraid. I did not tell it to anybody and that night while I thought about it, I became fearful and told my mother what had happened and then I felt a little bit relieved. My desire to know about God increased in leaps and bounds after that. I read voraciously all the spiritual books that my father had in his collections.

Then I asked my father a lot of questions about Bible and God. And he tried his best to answer me. I asked all my controversial but genuine questions about God. He even got upset because of some of the questions. From those days itself I felt a deep desire to commit my life fully to preach the Gospel to every one. But the irony was I have never been a person who could stand and speak before people, even before 2 or 3 people.

After that one day I went on to a small gathering to speak the word of God by invitation. As I stood up to speak I felt so fearful and inadequate to speak before the young people, suddenly in a moment of time God took away all my inhibitions that bound me, and I started to expound the word of God boldly and fluently. This in itself is the greatest miracle in my life.

As I started to pursue the call of God in my life, I was not sure whether I should be in full time ministry. Two or three years I was in dilemma about this matter. But the desire to teach and preach the word of God increased still more. After that I joined in a Bible college which God directed me to join. A lot of maturity and revelation came to me those days. God miraculously provided all the fees I needed to finish it. I found true joy and peace as I obeyed the voice of God. Praise the Lord!

Even from the day I heard God, the burden to reach out to the nation of India and China which are the most populated nations and to the nations with the word of God increased in me. And while I was doing my Bible college we went to a three day conference, during the meeting while the message was going on, the man of God suddenly stopped and prophesied that “God is going to use you in this nation as a leader, He has put in you the gift of pastoring and teaching, you will speak to people and they will be delivered and comforted….”. Then as I continued with my Bible College, the gift of God began to manifest in me. I became stronger and stronger in expounding the Word of God with authority. God became so real to me in a living way. Lot of revelations about the deep doctrines of the Bible began to be unveiled before me. Now I have no more doubt in the Word of God. Praise the Lord!

Right from the days of my youth I have been struggling to keep my thoughts clean, but all my striving never gave me freedom when I tried to control the lust of the flesh and lust of my eyes and pride of life by my religiously driven sincere self-control of my own will through striving and self-determination. The more I tried by my strength, the more I slided deeper and deeper in to the same pit of sinful life which increased day by day. When I entered my teen years, my mind struggled with a desire to fantasize with lustful thoughts, see pornography books and read filthy stories which led me in to masturbation, and then eyeing cinema wall posters with lust led me further in to seeing romantic films which again further led me in to seeing X-rated films. Then as I moved in to my mid-teen years and above, this increased further to lead me to further sinful things which I tried to learn such as drinking and smoking, but the grace of God which kept me from it made me cough out the smoke and have disdain for it when I tried to learn it, at the same time God kept me from alcohol except for few times which I took individually and at one other time with my college friends during my Engineering days. Then as the days of internet came to maturity before second half of the decade before the end of the gone-by Millennium, so also the bondage within me to see pornographic videos on the internet which was very cheap and available in the browsing centers also began to increase and afflict me severely. I have cried out to God innumerable times with severe penitence after committing the act of viewing porn and masturbation, but then at some point of time it would come again to afflict me. Then it increased further and brought me in to complete bondage to its whims and fancies. Finally I cried out to God for deliverance during a period of spiritual wilderness time of waiting which went on for over a couple of years when I was all alone before my marriage, at that time God graciously assured me that His Grace was sufficient for me when I faced difficulties and weaknesses in these areas which has been a thorn in my flesh spiritually
(2 Cor 12:9-10).

Then God one day showed me in a night vision that these temptation of the lust of the flesh which lead me to pornography and masturbation was a demon that beat me down and vanishes immediately to afflict me spiritually. Then I began to actively resist this devil by standing on the promises of God and renewing my mind with His Word
(Jam 4:7; Eph 4:23), but when I fell in to it again (1 John 2:1-2), I immediately would resist the evil demon of lust to leave and would cast it out (Gal 4:30-31), and therefore would not allow to let this sin to reign in my mortal body to obey its lust again by being cleansed by the power of the blood of Jesus. And then a little later if this thought of lust would again try to come back to take control of my mind, I would rebuke that demon in the authority of the name of Jesus to leave me which would bring relief (Rom 6:11, 12; Rev 12:11; Matt 28:18, 19-20; Luke 10:19-20). Praise the Lord!

Then further as I sought God knowing my unworthy spiritual stature to minister His Word, God promised me two things, one is "Sin shall not have continual dominion over you, because you are not under law of striving which tells you not to do something wrong or sinful but never gives you the power to overcome it, but you are under the empowering grace of the Lord Jesus who through the Holy Spirit will help you to overcome sin that afflicts you with His very own strength."
(Rom 6:14, Paraphrased). And the second promise God gave me was, "29 I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. I will call for the grain and multiply it, and bring no famine upon you. 30 And I will multiply the fruit of your trees and the increase of your fields, so that you need never again bear the reproach of [spiritual] famine among the nations. 31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations. 32 Not for your sake do I do this,” says the Lord GOD, “let it be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your own ways, O house of Israel!” 33 ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “On the day that I cleanse you from all your iniquities, I will also enable you to dwell in the cities, and the ruins shall be rebuilt. 34 The desolate land shall be tilled instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass by. 35 So they will say, ‘This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eden; and the wasted, desolate, and ruined cities are now fortified and inhabited.’" (Ezek 36:29-35). I finally found freedom not to bother myself and become discouraged when I fall, because I realized that only the Lord can keep me and deliver me from all uncleannesses, until then I chose positively to stand up and dust my self up by confessing to God my sins whenever I fall (1 John 1:7, 9; Prov 4:18; 24:16; Psa 37:23-24; 34:18-19), and keep walking in the way of the Lord by resisting those evil thoughts that tries to establish itself as a trait, through the blood and name of Jesus to continue to walk in the victory of faith through our Lord Jesus who leads us in the victorious procession of triumph always (1 John 5:4, 5; 2 Cor 2:14; 1 Cor 15:57, 58). This taught me that I should look to the Lord in faith for the victorious living He has promised me. So I believe as we walk in faith, God will lift us up out of such struggle after a period of time in which we might have faced fierce battle from the enemy of our soul who wants to defile us, then God will settle us in such a way that those same demons will run away seeing us after God settles us for His glory, as dominion is His forever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 5:8, 9, 10, 11). What has God taught me in and through this struggle? I have come to realize that no matter what, I will choose to never give up in my fight against the devil because I am called to be a warrior in God's end time army against sin, sickness and death in whatever form I face. I thank God for His grace that helps me live victoriously now in my life in the above areas I mentioned, though sometimes it is still a struggle now and then, but God has proved that the devil cannot keep me in bondage any more by his lies because of God's constant empowering grace. Now my faith in the Lord is that He is able to keep me from stumbling further, and present me faultless before the Presence of His glory with exceeding joy, because He alone is my wise Savior, only to Him belongs glory, majesty, dominion and power now and forever. Amen! (Jude 1:24-25). Now, only the grace of God and not my self-determination or striving brings salvation to help me live an abundant life (John 10:10), thus teaching me through it all to deny ungodliness and worldly lust, and to help me constantly live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age of darkness that rules it (Titus 2:11-12; 2 Cor 4:4; Gal 1:4). Praise the Lord!    

And God began to stir up in my heart and told me that I am called to be an apostle while I was about to end my two years Bible college studies, still he witnesses it in my heart clearly. I visibly could see the difference and transformation that has taken place after that by the grace of God. God increased the desire for holiness in my life more and more. All the bondage have been broken completely by the power of God. The presence of the Holy Spirit has increased in leaps and bounds. I sometimes get baffled by the amount of revelation I receive from the word of God. God has put a strong desire in me to teach the word of God in all the churches and extend the kingdom of God through it.

God has shown me that as many as the stars are in the sky, so will be the number of souls that will be saved in this final coming harvest before his coming. I have always desired to live a life as an Engineer, in a solitary way, but God showed up in my life and has trained me to be a warrior, soldier and an apostle to His church. The last job I would have chosen in my life would be to teach, but God has called me to teach and have proved that in my weakness He is strong in me by His power that manifests. I believe that in our generation, we will turn the world upside down by His Spirit that works mightily in us. Grace and peace to you in Jesus name.


May God Richly Bless You,

Abraham Israel



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7 comments:

bob woody said...

THANK YOU MY BROTHER.GOD LOVES YOU.IF AND WHEN I NEED PRAYER OR JUST TO HAVE A FRIEND TO TALK WITH.IT WELL BE YOU.THINK YOU.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

Prophetess Cassandra said...

GOD BLESS YOU AND WALK CLOSE TO HIM WHO CALL YOU AND GIVE YOU A NEW LIFE.... GOD STILL CALL YOU TO BE AN ENGINEER BUT THIS TIME IS FOR HIS BODY OF CHRIST .....AMEN !!?

Our Lord desire all the Glory,
Prophetess Cassandra Lai
http://eaglepropheticministry.blogspot.com/

Our Vision said...

Thanks for your encouraging words and feedback. I love to hear from all my friends, brothers and sisters from the "Household of Faith" all around the world. ♥, Ḡґα¢ℯ, ℙℯαḉℯ @ηḓ ℳü¢н ℬʟ℮ṧsin❡﹩▪... ѦℬℜѦ♓Ѧ♏ ℐϟℜѦℰℒ

✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡....♥†♥.......✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡


ℬḺ€$ϟℑℕḠϟ ℉ℛϴℳ★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★.H♥Ṳϟ€♓ѺℒḎ ϴℱ ℱѦℐ✞Ħ ℭĦṲℛ℃Ħ★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門| ˚ѦℕḎ ₩ϴℝℒḎ ѺṲ✞ℜℰÅℭ♓


✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡....♥†♥.......✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡

Anonymous said...

dear brother, after reading this testimony, i myself has gained new confidence in god. i too praying to god to do a miracle in mylife too. that miracle i will surely share with you after our jesus does it. am praying to our jesus, loving god. amen

sundeep said...

Prasie da Lord brother !!

Universal World Flag said...

This I find quite wonderful for you. I also have a calling and its about all of Our Dignity, Respect, Equality, Unity and Peace for All.
http://www.Humanbeingflag.com
This Flag was created through me, I know because it was out at night near -40 in winter while I worked tow trucking, it kept saying I needed to create it, eventually I did.

Desire Scraders said...

Wow...that is an awesome testimony! God is good! I feel priviledged to be friends with you! God knows I need more contact with those who love and trust Him! Keep me in your prayers! Thanks!

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apostolicrevelation.info is one of the world's fast growing popular Bible study websites, attracting thousands of visitors daily from all around the world. We follow a unique revelatory apostolic seer writing from the Scripture with Rapture taking place any time after Mid-Point but before Great Tribulation begins through Antichrist, we use dispensational interpretation of Scripture and believe the Bible teaches salvation by grace through faith alone, and the eternal security of believers. We will focus mainly on apostolic teaching that will edify, equip and empower the saints to reach their full potential in Christ Jesus. Our goal is the edification, evangelism and empowerment of the last day Church that the Lord Jesus Christ is raising up before His triumphant return!
 
 

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